The Stress Factor, Natural Ways To Stay Calm

Is stress ruining your life?

I hope you like the new photo of me. It is the one that is going to be used in my pending book so you have a sneak preview.

Well, I know all about stress, been there, (actually I am still there, unfortunately) done that, have written the book! My book is now at the publishers. I had a telephone conference call with my graphic and interior book designers last Thursday (from the US), so it is now well in hand. I have to start again on my website and was wondering why I was having so much trouble until my friend told me that the system I was using was not very good. She is going to help me so...hang in there folks!

I have a whole chapter on stress in my book (you can read all about the contents in my November post). Depression, stress, anxiety, panic all have some symptoms the same and you can be better informed as to which bracket you belong in because you don't have to wonder, as I had to. You get to read of ways in which you can help yourself, and what I did also.

It is well documented that anti-depressants do very little to help stress, anxiety or panic and my research has also shown this to be true, borne out also by speaking to various people, first hand.

My own doctor was being very good, knowing that I was taking natural remedies to stop any depression that may surface whilst also acknowledging the fact that an assessment showed that I did not need anti-depressants and neither did I want to. The jury is still out on why exactly he suddenly prescribed these tablets out of the blue, at my last appointment with him - this is yet to be established.

You can check out the signs for depression in my previous post 'Anti-depressants - Do you really need them' (Feb 6th) If you have at least 5 of the 9 signs then anti-depressants would benefit you. I don't really have even 1 of the symptoms so I rest my case on that one.

So let's try some natural remedies because unless you have major depression you really do not need anti-depressants. I have stressed time and time again that you must never just stop taking any medication that you have been prescribed as you need to come off them very slowly.

For a start, never skip breakfast as it is vital for a healthy metabolism and energy. If you really cannot face it at least grab a banana which is packed full of energising B vitamins and nutrients that not only support the nervous sytem but is also soothing for the gut.

I always put fruit on my breakfast cereal so you can add a banana to porridge for slow-release energy with the calming properties of oats. You can top up your B vit's by putting fish on your lunchtime menu. I have a banana every day to keep me going. They are also said to help with sleep.

Everyone knows that too much coffee is not good for you as it can cause the 'jitters', tea is a better choice, and chamomile is an even better one to help soothe both body and mind.

Antioxidant foods can also help relieve the effects of stress, which makes the body use up more essential vitamins and lowers immunity. Along with fruit and veg, this gives a perfect excuse for indulging in some antioxidant rich dark chocolate.

I extoll the virtues of dark chocolate in my book and the fact that I partake of a variety which has 85% cocoa solids - the higher the cocoa solids, the better it is for you. You actually only need a couple of squares for it's antioxidant qualities and I have just half of a small 25g bar (that's willpower for you).

I take St John's Wort to help prevent any depression and also a little known vitamin called Rhodiola rosea which is a great energiser, mood lifter and fatigue fighter.

To help irritability and edginess - try Weleda's Avena Sativa Comp Drops - made from oats, valerian (which I take 1hr before bedtime), and passion flower. I confess that before I had just read about this, I had never heard of it - another one for me to try.

To relieve anxiety - try Lemon Balm tablets - another I had not even heard of until this minute, although I do have some lemon balm aromatherapy oil (another mood lifter). My book goes into detail of the many oils that can also help your mood and various other ailments.

Vaporising essential oils can help keep you sweet partly because when inhaled, the vapours go straight to the brain's limbic system - the part associated with emotions - and may also trigger the release of feel-good chemicals and memories.

Try 'Rosemary' - to kick start your brain back into life

'Chamomile' - which has sedative properties,

'Geranium' - is calming and mood boosting

'Jasmine' - can lift anxiety

'Neroli' - has calming and has antidepressant properties

'Orange' - eases anxiety

'Cinnamon - useful for depression and fatigue

'Lavender' - good old fashioned standy - try 6 drops in your bath to soothe away the day's stresses

For a quick fix if you are feeling like a 'coiled spring' (and I do have some of this which I keep forgetting to use) - 'Rescue Remedy', you can buy this in a dropper bottle or pastilles (a new one on me - again)

If you feel a stress attack is imminent - breathe! By this I mean deep breathing - and again, I go into detail on this in my book. I have found though that it is a waste of time trying to do a deep breathing exercise when you are stressed, anxious or panicky as it is like 'shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted'.

I got really stressed racing to my doctor's appointment as there were various hold-ups on the way. My chest was knocking and I sat there for 10mins solid doing deep breathing exercises. This was not helped by the fact that despite me being his first appointment of the afternoon I was still kept waiting for over 10 mins. It took me some time to 'still my beating chest'. It's not even as though he tried to help me, just sat there waiting for me to calm down.

So - take a few minutes to inhale, slowly and deeply from the bottom of the rib cage, then equally slowly - breathe out. The out breath is when muscles relax, so when exhaling, imagine tension leaving with it. Repeat three times then breathe normally. You can do this anytime and anywhere.

I wonder if you are like me and have prolonged tension. You get a pain in the neck, shoulders, jaw. back or gut. Try to relax the muscles, take ten minutes to lie flat in comfy clothing, with eyes closed. Begin by breathing slowly in and out. Then starting at the feet, tense to the count of ten - then relax, allowing the muscles to become limp. Work your way one by one up the body's muscles, not forgetting the jaw, and finish with your forehead and scalp. Once relaxed, enjoy a few moments before slowly opening your eyes.

Chill-out heaven - try it for yourself and see.

Hangover cure - if you must drink, but you know it's not good for you! - check out my post 'Depression and Alcohol' (15 Feb).

Our grannies swore by onions! and they were right. Onions speed up the removal of toxins (including alchohol - which is a toxin by the way) - from the liver. Try fresh onion soup for lunch after a night of overindulgence. It is also well known for easing coughs and colds.

So, don't stress - there are lots of things you can do to help yourself.

Don't forget you can click the link to sign up to get notifications of updates to my blog straight into your inbox. It will not cost you anything and you will not be spammed. You won't want to miss the link to my book 'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It' as soon as it goes 'live'.

'til next time

Bonnie

'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It'.

Are you planning to, or have you written your own book. I can highly recommend my own publishers, click on the link below:

Depression And Alcohol

Depression cannot be helped with alcohol and here's why

First, excitement has been gathering at the pending launch of my book, based on my true experience and written especially to help you on your own emotional journey.

There has been an unbelievable 97 hits on this blog (to date) and this is without even marketing it so I know my book is being eagerly awaited.

You can read all about it on my November post. My Website is coming along nicely and you will be able to purchase my book, 'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It' in both physical and download mode very soon. It will be made available from 25,000 outlets so you can be sure of your copy.

Remember! you can sign up to receive updates straight into your inbox, click on the link to the right of this post, you can also sign up to be a follower (will you be my first?) - I promise you will not receive any spam from me - I know how annoying it is.

Watch out at the end for something you can do to cheer yourself up! I did it Thursday and it has proved great fun!! intrigued? - hint - I am now a 'twit' - official!

Now, to the subject in hand:

I have a whole chapter on depression in my book, how you can learn the signs, what you can do, and what I did! all chapters are interspersed with what was going on in my life - it will really inspire you.

Amazingly, just a few decades ago it just was not done, or expected, that women would drink at all! or maybe just sip on a sherry. how times have changed as unfortunately, now there is an increasing number of us who drink alcohol to cope with pressures of modern life. I am pleased to say that I am not one of them, despite now going into my 30th week of a stress related illness - so this is proof that you do not need to turn to drink to survive. Sometimes I may have a small 25cl bottle over two nights, giving me about three quarters of a wine glass full each time (red wine, purely for health reasons!)

Not only is alcohol a depressive, it can cause an extreme 'low' after a short 'high'. It must also be pointed out that it can cause liver disease and also breast cancer. Research has shown that in the Uk, people are drinking more than ever before (not helped by the fact that you can purchase drink so cheaply in the supermarkets).

Our own 'National Health Service' figures show that more than 7 million people drink more that the daily recommended amount. This is given as 3/4 units for men, and 2/3 for women. People are automatically assuming that 3/4 units means 3/4 pints but it means one large or two very small glasses of wine. 6 units would mean you will be drinking two large glasses of wine!

A bottle or even a half bottle of wine a night could harm your health, happiness and relationships and pay havoc with your family life. If parents regularly drink in front of their children then the chances are that the children will end up as drinkers also. Some parents think it is funny to watch their children drinking alcohol and do not realize that their stomachs are just not made for this and long term damage could be caused, putting them at risk.

They are doubly put at risk if the parent gets violent with the other parent or the children themselves.

TV and Movies do not help either as they show frequent drinking which 'glamourises' it - just like smoking used to do in the old movies. We are further lured in with fancy 'wine bars' and 'gastropubs'. You may be like me and have to drive so do not drink, then you get your family and friends urging you to have a drink and catch a cab home - all you can do is rise above it as I do, all it needs is willpower and a respect for your own health.

Women have more stressful lives. Trying to juggle work with family and home in a way that is different from even 20 years ago. We all tend to demand more of ourselves, work longer hours and feel pressurized, (due to the tv and media) to cook fantastic meals and keep ourselves looking fabulous, giving us less time to see our family and friends, so grab a glass of wine or two to ease the pressures and forget our worries. It is a fast paced life that I am glad (at the moment) not to have to be a part of.

Evidence for the link between women, stress and alcohol - In a study done by University College, London, found 'female executives were more than 3 times more likely to develop a drink problem than men in similar positions, with nearly 14% drinking too much. And women who felt their work was underpaid and unappreciated - from nurses to housewives - drank the most'

Horrifyingly - it is estimated that up to 22,000 deaths a year are associated with drinking too much alcohol - twice the rate of 2 decades ago. It can also be responsible for:

• brain damage
• heart problems
• strokes
• bad skin
• cancer
• infertility
• not sleeping well
• leading to feeling guilty and shameful about drinking too much

People also think that you have to drink 'bucket loads' before being classed an an alcoholic - not so I'm afraid - because if you habitually have a bottle of wine a night you will already be in this bracket. Because of the way our bodies work - women are even more vulnerable to physical damage from alcohol.

Medical definition of addiction:

• physical cravings
• withdrawal symptoms
• build up of tolerance
• a compulsion to drink

Even if you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms such as sweating, shaking, upset stomach and anxiety you may need to drink more to get the same high. Even if you don't suffer from this as yet, it can creep up on you before you realize it.

Warning signs:

• You may plan your day or weekend around alcohol
• You may prioritise people and places that will reinforce the behaviour and cut out those who don't
• You may think about drinking all the time
• You may plan to cut down but can't, or find yourself drunk at a work function when vowing to stay sober

There is evidence that genetics play a part in whether we become alcoholics because a child with an alcoholic parent is four times more likely to develop a drink problem. Experts believe (what I have always thought myself) that drinking too much is a sign of deep inner unhappiness and not necessarily because people actually enjoy the taste of drink - they may drink to remove themselves from reality, what's in their head, low self esteem or depression and are unable to deal with their feelings - feeling fear, anxiety or pain.

If you think that you are drinking too much out of habit, boredom or stress, then try to make changes in your life. Plan more fun, alcohol free activities such as playing a sport, learn relaxation techniques (and I quote several in my book) or meeting friends for coffee.

They say 'once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic' and it is reckoned if you give it up then it is likely to be impossible to be able to drink socially again. It takes 2 years for your brain to lose the habit of craving drink or drugs as an automatic response to any problem or situation and you will have your work cut out trying to keep it up.

(typing all of this, and thinking about my own situation which inspired me to write my own true story - I am feeling rather pleased with myself that I resisted going down this road).

Because women are so used to 'multi-tasking' we can actually drink to excess without our lives falling apart! because we are so good at coping with things. 'Life Works Addiction Centre' says that 60-70% of their clients are women and well over half of these managed to hold everything together. They go for help because they know that they are addicted and can't see a way out. Apparently we can hold it together - look great on the outside but are falling apart on the inside.

You can get outside help if you cannot stop yourself - via your GP or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or you can even try a helpline as sometimes you may just need somebody to talk to. You do not have to go through it alone and it is suprising that many people go through life wanting to do something about it but not willing to take the first simple small step.

Now for the bit of fun I promised you! (to end on a lighter note)

Have you heard of 'twitter'? it is a social site, a bit like 'Facebook' or 'MySpace' but you only have up to 140 characters to inform people 'what you are doing'. You can follow people, and gain followers. You even get to follow No. 10 Downing Street (home of UK's Prime Minister), Barack Obama, Al Gore, New York Times, NPR Politics, etc., You can even sneakily include your URL.

I signed up for it on Thursday to divert myself from what ended up to be a bad day for me, and a setback. I will give you my personal 'tweeter' referral link below. When you have signed up I suggest downloading (free) a TweetDeck (just google). This means that you do not have to keep logging in and all your contacts are there, in one place. You even get a sweet little 'trill' when there is a new entry added.

First you need to sign up for a twittter account, so just click the link http://twitter.com/ as you need your log in details to sign up to 'tweeter' below. You can also see what I am up to.

Check it out! one way to banish depression without the need for alcohol!

http://tweetergetter.com/bonnietoner

Don't forget to sign up for automatic alerts - you do not want to miss my book launch date

Are you planning to, or have you written, your own book? If so, I can highly recommend my own publishers. click the link below for details:

Bonnie

The Truth About Depression and How To Beat It - launching soon.

The Truth About Depression And How You Can Beat It

Launching Very Soon

(Check at the end for regular updates)

The book your doctor will not want you to read - but one they should all read!

My Book, but not just any book but one that charts my actual experiences as they were happening, so it is 100% pure original content based on what I have gone through and how I came out on the other side. It is a very personal and emotional journey and you will read just what I had to go through to get any sort of help and the eventual anti-climax when I got there.

You get to read of my feelings as I dipped down to the very edge of despair and how I had to continually battle to keep my sanity intact. It shows that if I can do it, then you can too.

At the time of writing this, I am going into the 19th week of being under the doctor and it is only through my strength of character and determination, that I have managed to survive and the fact that I have had no choice but to help myself because there was very little other help available.

My book shows ways in which I did so, and was written in the hope that it will help you also. I answer

the many questions that you have probably been asking yourself, with a fair amount of controversy thrown in for good measure.

You will read of the only one person who was the most help of all and how I had to almost totally rely on them and how my dignity and self-respect just flew out of the window in my quest just to be able to get through one day at a time.

Here are the chapters which are all interspersed with updates as to what is going on with my life and how I really can empathize with the way that you are feeling.

You will not only be shocked at the side effects of certain medications but at the interaction with other medications. Read how it could have been dangerous for me if I had taken the two lots of tablets at the same time that I had been prescribed.

Introduction

This tells you how I came to write this book

1. The Truth about Depression and how to beat it

Learn all about the causes of depression, what you can do to help yourself, and what I did

2. Discover the signs of an anxiety/panic attack

I did not even know that what I was having was anxiety and panic attacks. You will get to read of all the signs and what you can do to help yourself.

3. Have you got stress, and how to deal with it

Depression, anxiety/panic attacks and stress are so closely related with some of the same symptoms - you get to know exactly what you are suffering from without having to wonder, as I did. Read the symptoms of stress, what you can do to help yourself, and what I did also.

===================================================================

Depression (a condition and mental illness)
Anxiety/Panic attack (through your own feelings, behaviour & thinking (repressed)
Stress (the way you react to a situation)

====================================================================

4. Exposed - the serious flaw in the UK N.H.S.

There is just not enough being done in the UK to help people suffering from such illnesses. You will read how practices were not put in place in my own GP's surgery and how I had to literally beg to be able to speak to somebody.

5. Are you concerned about antidepressants -
are there other alternatives

You will find, as I have done, that - if you go to your doctor's surgery, then the likely outcome is that they will prescribe anti-depressants. My research has shown that these do little to counteract the symptoms of an anxiety and panic attack. This chapter shows that there are quite a few over the counter health tablets that you can take, one especially, that has been proven to be far more beneficial than pharmaceutical anti-depressants.

6. The secrets of how you can stop those thoughts
pounding through your brain

Like me, you have one thought leading to another pounding through your brain and you can do little to stop them. Learn of some of my 'tricks' that can help you and also how my desperate feelings almost drove me completely over the edge. I know exactly how you feel.

7. The key to ‘feel good’ foods and how they can help

There are foods that can help and I am sure I do not need to tell you that if you eat rubbish then you will feel like rubbish so a healthy diet is a must. I list comprehensively - all the foods that can help you keep a healthy mind and body and even give you examples of some of my own meals.

8. The simple truth of how you should not put up with
stress in the workplace

It was because I had put up with two and half years of stress in the workplace that I nearly ended up with a nervous breakdown. You will learn all that I went through and also the signs of stress that you should look out for in your own workplace, the causes, and even the illnesses that could transpire if you do not address the issue.

9. How stress can double the misery of hot flashes and
cold sweats during the menopause

My doctor did not know what medication to prescribe for me because you can get hot flashes and cold sweats from anxiety/panic attacks also. This chapter will really open your eyes to the menopause. You get to learn of all the symptoms and the different ways in which you can help yourself - from massage, aromatherapy, homeopathy and even acupuncture. I list the many alternative health tablets that are also available to help you and also foods known to help during the menopause. Read how I 'caved in' to HRT patches and how quickly they had a very bad effect on me resulting in a biopsy, and a scan at the hospital having to be booked.

10. Countdown to the long awaited appointment

I had to wait 16 weeks and a third visit to the triage in the GP's surgery before I got referred to a specialist in mental health. You get to read how I tried to cope day by day whilst I was waiting for this appointment and how I nearly did not make it, and how it was a complete anti-climax and why. I even quote from the very personal report and my diary entries - and the bad effect that it had on me causing me to quickly go downhill and be left in limbo where I have been ever since.

Summary & conclusion

This sums up all that we have learned on the painful journey that we travelled on together.

My little tips to keep down at mouth lines at bay

Two little exercises for you to try and keep all the frown lines away.

This book is 104 pages long, packed with useful information whilst also charting my very emotional journey where I not only learned a great deal about myself, but also ways in which I had to help myself, in turn - enabling me to get you through it as well. I have also done a lot of research to further assist us both on our painful journey.

The book has been written so it just needs 'fine tuning' before I can bring it to you. It was written in less than 3 and a half months and finished on 27 November

I hope you enjoy reading it and, most of all, it helps you so you do not have to go to the great lengths that I had to.

Update: 3 Feb '09 This is week 28 of being under the doctor - this is further confirmation that you can do it, as I have had to - and my book will show you how.

Exciting News! I am just checking my book as it is going to be submitted to a publisher! so you will be able to order this book in physical form also. I had a UK and US firm fighting to publish this story, and after very careful consideration I am going with a UK publisher whose main office is in the US anyway so it will be widely available there, and all over the world aswell.

It is hoped to be able to add to this blog, in the meanwhile, so you can subscribe to it and will be notified automatically when any additions are made - so please sign up now!!! It will not cost you anything and you will not be spammed!

Are you planning to, or have you already, written your own book? If so, I can highly recommend my own publishers. click on the link below for details:

Bonnie

The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

GMail: howtobeatdepression@googlemail.com

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