The Stress Factor, Natural Ways To Stay Calm

Is stress ruining your life?

I hope you like the new photo of me. It is the one that is going to be used in my pending book so you have a sneak preview.

Well, I know all about stress, been there, (actually I am still there, unfortunately) done that, have written the book! My book is now at the publishers. I had a telephone conference call with my graphic and interior book designers last Thursday (from the US), so it is now well in hand. I have to start again on my website and was wondering why I was having so much trouble until my friend told me that the system I was using was not very good. She is going to help me so...hang in there folks!

I have a whole chapter on stress in my book (you can read all about the contents in my November post). Depression, stress, anxiety, panic all have some symptoms the same and you can be better informed as to which bracket you belong in because you don't have to wonder, as I had to. You get to read of ways in which you can help yourself, and what I did also.

It is well documented that anti-depressants do very little to help stress, anxiety or panic and my research has also shown this to be true, borne out also by speaking to various people, first hand.

My own doctor was being very good, knowing that I was taking natural remedies to stop any depression that may surface whilst also acknowledging the fact that an assessment showed that I did not need anti-depressants and neither did I want to. The jury is still out on why exactly he suddenly prescribed these tablets out of the blue, at my last appointment with him - this is yet to be established.

You can check out the signs for depression in my previous post 'Anti-depressants - Do you really need them' (Feb 6th) If you have at least 5 of the 9 signs then anti-depressants would benefit you. I don't really have even 1 of the symptoms so I rest my case on that one.

So let's try some natural remedies because unless you have major depression you really do not need anti-depressants. I have stressed time and time again that you must never just stop taking any medication that you have been prescribed as you need to come off them very slowly.

For a start, never skip breakfast as it is vital for a healthy metabolism and energy. If you really cannot face it at least grab a banana which is packed full of energising B vitamins and nutrients that not only support the nervous sytem but is also soothing for the gut.

I always put fruit on my breakfast cereal so you can add a banana to porridge for slow-release energy with the calming properties of oats. You can top up your B vit's by putting fish on your lunchtime menu. I have a banana every day to keep me going. They are also said to help with sleep.

Everyone knows that too much coffee is not good for you as it can cause the 'jitters', tea is a better choice, and chamomile is an even better one to help soothe both body and mind.

Antioxidant foods can also help relieve the effects of stress, which makes the body use up more essential vitamins and lowers immunity. Along with fruit and veg, this gives a perfect excuse for indulging in some antioxidant rich dark chocolate.

I extoll the virtues of dark chocolate in my book and the fact that I partake of a variety which has 85% cocoa solids - the higher the cocoa solids, the better it is for you. You actually only need a couple of squares for it's antioxidant qualities and I have just half of a small 25g bar (that's willpower for you).

I take St John's Wort to help prevent any depression and also a little known vitamin called Rhodiola rosea which is a great energiser, mood lifter and fatigue fighter.

To help irritability and edginess - try Weleda's Avena Sativa Comp Drops - made from oats, valerian (which I take 1hr before bedtime), and passion flower. I confess that before I had just read about this, I had never heard of it - another one for me to try.

To relieve anxiety - try Lemon Balm tablets - another I had not even heard of until this minute, although I do have some lemon balm aromatherapy oil (another mood lifter). My book goes into detail of the many oils that can also help your mood and various other ailments.

Vaporising essential oils can help keep you sweet partly because when inhaled, the vapours go straight to the brain's limbic system - the part associated with emotions - and may also trigger the release of feel-good chemicals and memories.

Try 'Rosemary' - to kick start your brain back into life

'Chamomile' - which has sedative properties,

'Geranium' - is calming and mood boosting

'Jasmine' - can lift anxiety

'Neroli' - has calming and has antidepressant properties

'Orange' - eases anxiety

'Cinnamon - useful for depression and fatigue

'Lavender' - good old fashioned standy - try 6 drops in your bath to soothe away the day's stresses

For a quick fix if you are feeling like a 'coiled spring' (and I do have some of this which I keep forgetting to use) - 'Rescue Remedy', you can buy this in a dropper bottle or pastilles (a new one on me - again)

If you feel a stress attack is imminent - breathe! By this I mean deep breathing - and again, I go into detail on this in my book. I have found though that it is a waste of time trying to do a deep breathing exercise when you are stressed, anxious or panicky as it is like 'shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted'.

I got really stressed racing to my doctor's appointment as there were various hold-ups on the way. My chest was knocking and I sat there for 10mins solid doing deep breathing exercises. This was not helped by the fact that despite me being his first appointment of the afternoon I was still kept waiting for over 10 mins. It took me some time to 'still my beating chest'. It's not even as though he tried to help me, just sat there waiting for me to calm down.

So - take a few minutes to inhale, slowly and deeply from the bottom of the rib cage, then equally slowly - breathe out. The out breath is when muscles relax, so when exhaling, imagine tension leaving with it. Repeat three times then breathe normally. You can do this anytime and anywhere.

I wonder if you are like me and have prolonged tension. You get a pain in the neck, shoulders, jaw. back or gut. Try to relax the muscles, take ten minutes to lie flat in comfy clothing, with eyes closed. Begin by breathing slowly in and out. Then starting at the feet, tense to the count of ten - then relax, allowing the muscles to become limp. Work your way one by one up the body's muscles, not forgetting the jaw, and finish with your forehead and scalp. Once relaxed, enjoy a few moments before slowly opening your eyes.

Chill-out heaven - try it for yourself and see.

Hangover cure - if you must drink, but you know it's not good for you! - check out my post 'Depression and Alcohol' (15 Feb).

Our grannies swore by onions! and they were right. Onions speed up the removal of toxins (including alchohol - which is a toxin by the way) - from the liver. Try fresh onion soup for lunch after a night of overindulgence. It is also well known for easing coughs and colds.

So, don't stress - there are lots of things you can do to help yourself.

Don't forget you can click the link to sign up to get notifications of updates to my blog straight into your inbox. It will not cost you anything and you will not be spammed. You won't want to miss the link to my book 'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It' as soon as it goes 'live'.

'til next time

Bonnie

'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It'.

Are you planning to, or have you written your own book. I can highly recommend my own publishers, click on the link below:

Is Your Doctor Making You Feel Worse?

Has respect been lacking?

First, an update on my book! (The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It)

It has been so frustrating trying to get my book out to you. I am still trying to get my website up and running and I have to wait until 12 March for a telephone conference call with my graphic artist. It will then possibly be 3-4 months until the book is in physical form. So I must plod on relentlessly with getting my website done so you can immediately download the PDF version (all ready and waiting to go). This has already been uploaded onto my site so all I have to do now is link it to a payment button, so hopefully I won't keep you waiting too long now.

You can read all about it in my November Post

Your patience has been appreciated - it will be worth waiting for.

Right, back to it. I went to an appointment at my doctor's surgery recently and because I was seeing a registrar (a newly qualified doctor finishing off training), was handed a questionnaire to fill in after the appointment. There were questions on it such as 'did the doctor listen to your story' 'did they spend too much time looking at their computer screen' etc.,

The questions got me thinking about previous appointments at the surgery, over the years and after completing the questionnaire I thought it would be a good idea if you could have the chance to fill one in after seeing the regular doctors. I say this because if I had the chance to do this, there would be certain areas that, in my opinion, were not being adequately executed.

It could be that some doctors may become complacent over the years and through habit, some may even lose sight of the patients needs and even develop an offhand manner, not realising the effect it may have on their patients. They may not even realize that they are doing it.

For example. I know of people who are so put off by their doctor's attitudes towards them that they simply will not go to one, even when they are ill. I think this is atrocious. I have even had to persuade two people to go to a doctor and even made an appointment for one of them because they looked so ill. I have even known of 4 people who will not even entertain the idea of seeing one particular doctor!

A common complaint seems to be that doctors may appear too aloof. Obviously they need to keep a professional 'air of detachment' to a certain extent, but surely the odd smile of welcome to put you at your ease would not go amiss. This would go a long way to make you feel comfortable instead of making for a possibly difficult appointment. You may even come out not having said what you wanted to about the reason for you being there.

Controversial? yes it is, but I am convinced this is a very common occurence.

I am sure that each country has some sort of Health Constitution, covering patients rights. I recently looked up our own (UK) National Health Document and if you are in the UK you will be very interested in this. NHS Constitution : Department of Health - Health care (click to view)

People just seem to accept the fact that they have come out of their doctors surgery feeling upset with no suitable resolution and maybe even vowing not to go back again. You do have a right to a duty of care and a right to give feeback (good or bad) to your doctor, who should be treating you with respect, dignity and compassion.

I will quote passages from our own Constitution in the hope that this article will persuade you to visit a doctor if you have been put off in the past. You do have the right to see any doctor you want so do not have to stick to just the one. You will not be 'troubling him' - it is his job so please do not put your health at risk by ignoring any problems.

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NHS CONSTITUTION (passage extracts) Doctors are representatives of the NHS. I think it would be helpful for them all to re-aquaint themselves with the document!

NHS 'It has a duty to each and every individual that it serves and must respect their human rights'

NHS 'high quality care that is safe, effective and focussed on patient experience'

RESPECT, CONSENT & CONFIDENTIALITY

'You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, in accordance with your human rights'

'You have the right to accept or refuse treatment that is offered to you, and not to be given any physical examination or treatment unless you have given valid consent'.

'You have the right to be given information about your proposed treatment in advance, including any significant risks and any alternative treatments which may be available.....'

'You have the right of access to your own health records.These will always be used to manage your treatment in your best interests'

'You have the right to express a preference for using a particular doctor within your GP practice and for the practice to try and comply'

'You have the right to make choices about your NHS care and to information to support these choices. The options available to you will develop over time and depend on your individual needs'

'....to inform you about the healthcare services available to you, locally and nationally (pledge) and to offer you easily accessible, reliable and relevant information to enable you to participate fully in your own healthcare decisions and to support you in making choices'

INVOLVEMENT IN YOUR HEALTHCARE AND IN THE NHS

You have the right to be involved in discussions and decisions about your healthcare, and to be given information to enable you to do this.

COMPLAINT & REDRESS

'You have the right to have any complaint you make about NHS services dealt with efficiently and to have it properly investigated'.

'You have the right to know the outcome of any investigation into your complaint'

'You have the right to take your complaint to the independent Health Service Ombudsman, if you are not satisfied with the way your complaint has been dealt with by the NHS'.

'You have the right to make a claim for judicial review if you think you have been directly affected by an unlawful act or decision of an NHS body'.

'You have the right to compensation where you have been harmed by negligent treatment'.

The NHS also commits:

'to ensure you are treated with courtesy and you receive appropriate support throughout the handling of a complaint; and the fact that you have complained will not adversely affect your future treatment (pledge); '

'when mistakes happen, to acknowledge them, apologise, explain what went wrong and put things right quickly and effectively (pledge); and to ensure that the organisation learns lessons from complaints and claims and uses these to improve NHS services (pledge)'.

PATIENTS AND THE PUBLIC - RESPONSIBILITY

'You should give feedback – both positive and negative – about the treatment and care you have received, including any adverse reactions you may have had'.

'to be open with patients, their families, carers or representatives, including if anything goes wrong; welcoming and listening to feedback and addressing concerns promptly and in a spirit of co-operation. You should contribute to a climate where the truth can be heard and the reporting of, and learning from, errors is encouraged; and to view the services you provide from the standpoint of a patient, and involve patients',

NHS VALUES

Respect and dignity. 'We value each person as an individual, respect their aspirations and commitments in life, and seek to understand their priorities, needs, abilities and limits. We take what others have to say seriously. We are honest about our point of view and what we can and cannot do.'

Commitment to quality of care. 'We earn the trust placed in us by insisting on quality and striving to get the basics right every time: '

'We welcome feedback, learn from our mistakes and build on our successes.'

Compassion. 'We respond with humanity and kindness to each person’s pain, distress, anxiety or need. We search for the things we can do, however small, to give comfort and relieve suffering. We find time for those we serve and work alongside. We do not wait to be asked, because we care'.

Improving lives. 'We strive to improve health and well-being and people’s experiences of the NHS.'

'We value excellence and professionalism wherever we find it – in the everyday things that make people’s lives better as much as in clinical practice, service improvements and innovation.'

Working together for patients. 'We put patients first in everything we do, by reaching out to staff, patients, carers, families, communities, and professionals outside the NHS'.

'We put the needs of patients and communities before organisational boundaries'.

We accept that some people need more help.

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I hope this has been helpful to you. If it helps just one of you who are too scared to repeat a visit to the doctor because of a bad experience - then it will be worth it.

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To date, I have had 132 visits to this blog despite the fact that I have not actively marketed it! Many are from search engines all around the world (check my stats). You can 'subscribe' to my blog, or become my first 'follower' - see list on the right of this post.

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Are you planning to, or have you written, your own book? Then I can highly recommend my own publisher. Click on the link below:

'til next time

Bonnie

The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

Prescripton Drugs - Kill or Cure?

Are We Being Naive In Our Faith With The Drug Industry

When you get to read my book, (I am awaiting a conference call at the moment to go over the finer details of the pending publishing of it) you will see that I mention prescription drugs, especially anti-depressants and I tell you about all the alternatives you can take to help yourself.

You can read all about my book on my November post.

You do get the impression, early on, that I do not believe in drugs (unless given in a life and death situation, of course) and fought against being prescribed anti-depressants because I knew that I did not need them and this was confirmed by a psychiatrist (it's ok, I was pronounced as 'sane' and having no mental illness)! You will read on a post further down how I recently had these 'foisted upon me' against my will and so refused to take them.

This is not to mean that you can just suddenly stop taking any that you may have been prescribed because this is dangerous. They have been shown to help in major depression so they may be helping you ok, but I was only ever in the mild depression bracket because I have been taking alternative remedies for many years.

I have just read an article that can only add even more substance to my claim that a lot of prescription drugs may not be fit for their purpose. The only winners are the drugs companies and the billions of dollars that pour into their coffers each year. I will refer to extracts taken from my Candis (health/charity) magazine.

In the UK we spend out £8.2 billion (GBP) on prescriptions and it is said that GP's hand out an average 14 prescriptions per person which will increase for the over 65's. We accept our medication without even querying it. Would we just grab any old car, house or holiday without looking for a good deal. We trust our doctors and accept whatever they may hand out with a rather childlike trust.

Whilst drugs can help and heal, they can also hurt and harm us and we don't even give the fact another thought. Well, I have done and have also researched the subject in great depth.

In the UK alone, prescription drugs kill between 10 and 15,000 people a year and when you think this is 3-5 times the number of people who die on the roads here, the enormity of it will surely hit you. They also cause an astonishing one million admissions to our hospitals, which is a staggering 6.5 per cent of the total. A number of these may be accidental overdoses but unfortunately the rest is down to adverse drug reactions - from heart attacks to hallucinations.

In Canada, a study showed that the type of drugs to cause problems are:

• pain relief drugs (based on opium)


• heavy tranquillisers (known as antipsychotics)


• sleeping tablets


• anti-depressants

If road safety was treated in the same way as drug safety is, then we'd be driving with few traffic lights, without seat belts, no white lines or street lighting - and crashes would never be investigated, says Charles Medawar, director of the charity 'Social Audit', which monitors the pharmaceutical industry.

It is naive to think that every available drug has been trial tested and not only that, that interaction with other drugs has also been widely tested as this is just not possible. It costs the drug companies £300-600 million for the different trial types and would needs years and years of testing. Needless to state, the drugs companies have found ways around the rigorous process and can be set so they are more likely to show favourable results. Shocked? so you should be. They are likely to use volunteers who are younger and fitter then the elderly people who have the bulk of the prescriptions.

In a study, the 'New England Journal of Medicine' found that only 2 per cent of the people included in trials of aspirin-like anti-inflammatory drugs were over 65, despite the fact that this age group is more likely to use them. Also the elderly are more likely to suffer from drug reactions as when we age we get less efficient at handling toxins.

Women are also under represented in trials so reactions that women are vulnerable to, such as problems with heart rhythm, are less likely to show up in trials until after a drug is considered safe.

20 per cent of the most commonly prescribed drugs do not have a licence for the condition they are being used for. This is known as 'off label prescribing'. This means a drug may be prescribed for another purpose from that which it was intended.

For example: heavy tranquillisers that are licensed for use with schizophrenia are now also being routinely prescribed in the treatment of elderly patients with dementia and children with behavioural problems.

I have my own example where I was prescribed a drug that was supposed to help with my hot flashes (but it did not), which was marketed to treat high blood pressure! (belonging to a group of med's called vasodilators - which cause blood vessels to dilate (widen) thereby increasing the blood flow). These were originally trialled as an anti-depressant but were found not to be of much use. The leaflet says that it should not be taken if 'you have a history of depression or you are depressed' with such possible side effects as: low blood pressure, tiredness, difficulty in sleeping, hallucinations, confusion, nightmares, depression, anxiety, etc., etc., so be warned!

This 'off label prescribing' is widely practiced both in the UK and the US but it's one that is widely abused and it must be recalled the drug disaster stories that were around at the time - the link between HRT and heart disease and suicides and anti-depressants drugs for children - which were prescribed 'off label'.

As many as 200,000 dementia patients are being prescribed antipyschotics even though large scale studies have shown that they are not suitable for such people and can increase their risk of a stroke. There are also bad side effects such as: involuntary or repetitive movements, large weight gain, very low blood pressure, intense dreams or nightmares, lethargy or seizures.

They are also being prescribed to children with behavioural difficulties and is like giving chemotherapy for a headache.

The average person over the age of 65, is taking 29 different prescriptions! and as mentioned above, none of these multiple combinations have ever been tested in clinical trials and taking such a combination is likely to do more harm than good (Dr Malcolm Kendrick, a columnist for GP magazine 'Pulse'). Nobody is going to test them all because it would cost billions plus the drugs are made by different companies so co-operation between them all would be a problem.

It is mentioned that most elderly patients would be far healthier with fewer prescriptions. In-fact, an Israeli study in 2008 found that when a group of elderly patients reduced the number of drugs they took, they were 3 times less likely to have an emergency dash to hospital.

Relative and Absolute Risk

As well as becoming aware of the possible dangers from drugs, there are two things that can help you get a better idea of how effective a drug is. The first is the difference between relative and absolute risk. Your GP may tell you that a certain drug reduces your risk of some conditions by 25-30 per cent making it sound worth taking, but they might not mention how big the risk is to start with.

In trials of the risk of having a first heart attack, for example, it is 4 per cent on a placebo and 3 per cent on a cholestrol-lowering statin. That is a drop of 25 per cent - known as the relative risk. But the real (absolute) risk reduction is only 1 per cent. Not so impressive.

The second is something known as NNT (numbers needed to treat). This tells you how many people have to be treated with a drug over a certain period for one to benefit. So an NNT of one means that everyone who is treated benefits; NNT2 means that it works for one in two. e.g. head lice lotion has an NNT of one, aspirin has an NNT of two for reducing the pain of a sprain. Preventative treatments like the cholestrol-lowering statin drugs have very high NNT's, such as 641 to prevent one stroke.

So, it is up to us to ensure that we know everything we can about the drugs we are taking. My book stresses the fact that you must thoroughly read the leaflet accompanying your prescription. Do not be afraid to ask your GP questions about your med's and if you do suffer any of the side effects then it is vital you go back and tell him.

10 Questions to ask your Doctor (taken from Candis) - make an informed decision

1. Is this a drug that has only recently been licensed?
2. Is it a replacement for one that has just run out of patent?
3. Is this drug being prescribed 'off label' or not?
4. Have there been any trial of the drug run by researchers who are not financed by the drug manufacturers?
5. Was the drug tested on the same sort of people who are most likely to use it?
6. Has the drug been tested against any drugs already in use and how did it perform in those tests?
7. Are there any non-drug treatments that could be more effective than drugs for this condition?
8. Have all the trials carried out on the drug been registered anywhere so we know what all the results were? Did any trials show no effect or signs of problems?
9. What is the actual percentage figure for this drug's absolute risk versus relative risk and what is it's NNT?
10. What side effects are there and what serious side effects should I make sure I report immediately

I personally think that we probably won't have much luck in getting answers to some of these questions! Number 7 particularly interests me because when I told my doctor I was taking an alternative to anti-depressants he made it more than clear (on more than one occassion) that he did not believe in these alternatives, so I would be very suprised if your doctor recommends a 'non drug treatment that could be more effective'. If they do, then I suggest you hang on to them!

Remember - you must never just stop taking any medication that you have been prescribed as it is dangerous and could even be fatal. - I am not a doctor.

Don't forget that you can subscribe to my blog and receive alerts straight into your inbox each time I add a post. Click on the link to the right.

Are you planning to, or have you written, your own book? Then I can highly recommend my own publishers, click on the link below for details

Bonnie

The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It

Depression And Alcohol

Depression cannot be helped with alcohol and here's why

First, excitement has been gathering at the pending launch of my book, based on my true experience and written especially to help you on your own emotional journey.

There has been an unbelievable 97 hits on this blog (to date) and this is without even marketing it so I know my book is being eagerly awaited.

You can read all about it on my November post. My Website is coming along nicely and you will be able to purchase my book, 'The Truth About Depression and How You Can Beat It' in both physical and download mode very soon. It will be made available from 25,000 outlets so you can be sure of your copy.

Remember! you can sign up to receive updates straight into your inbox, click on the link to the right of this post, you can also sign up to be a follower (will you be my first?) - I promise you will not receive any spam from me - I know how annoying it is.

Watch out at the end for something you can do to cheer yourself up! I did it Thursday and it has proved great fun!! intrigued? - hint - I am now a 'twit' - official!

Now, to the subject in hand:

I have a whole chapter on depression in my book, how you can learn the signs, what you can do, and what I did! all chapters are interspersed with what was going on in my life - it will really inspire you.

Amazingly, just a few decades ago it just was not done, or expected, that women would drink at all! or maybe just sip on a sherry. how times have changed as unfortunately, now there is an increasing number of us who drink alcohol to cope with pressures of modern life. I am pleased to say that I am not one of them, despite now going into my 30th week of a stress related illness - so this is proof that you do not need to turn to drink to survive. Sometimes I may have a small 25cl bottle over two nights, giving me about three quarters of a wine glass full each time (red wine, purely for health reasons!)

Not only is alcohol a depressive, it can cause an extreme 'low' after a short 'high'. It must also be pointed out that it can cause liver disease and also breast cancer. Research has shown that in the Uk, people are drinking more than ever before (not helped by the fact that you can purchase drink so cheaply in the supermarkets).

Our own 'National Health Service' figures show that more than 7 million people drink more that the daily recommended amount. This is given as 3/4 units for men, and 2/3 for women. People are automatically assuming that 3/4 units means 3/4 pints but it means one large or two very small glasses of wine. 6 units would mean you will be drinking two large glasses of wine!

A bottle or even a half bottle of wine a night could harm your health, happiness and relationships and pay havoc with your family life. If parents regularly drink in front of their children then the chances are that the children will end up as drinkers also. Some parents think it is funny to watch their children drinking alcohol and do not realize that their stomachs are just not made for this and long term damage could be caused, putting them at risk.

They are doubly put at risk if the parent gets violent with the other parent or the children themselves.

TV and Movies do not help either as they show frequent drinking which 'glamourises' it - just like smoking used to do in the old movies. We are further lured in with fancy 'wine bars' and 'gastropubs'. You may be like me and have to drive so do not drink, then you get your family and friends urging you to have a drink and catch a cab home - all you can do is rise above it as I do, all it needs is willpower and a respect for your own health.

Women have more stressful lives. Trying to juggle work with family and home in a way that is different from even 20 years ago. We all tend to demand more of ourselves, work longer hours and feel pressurized, (due to the tv and media) to cook fantastic meals and keep ourselves looking fabulous, giving us less time to see our family and friends, so grab a glass of wine or two to ease the pressures and forget our worries. It is a fast paced life that I am glad (at the moment) not to have to be a part of.

Evidence for the link between women, stress and alcohol - In a study done by University College, London, found 'female executives were more than 3 times more likely to develop a drink problem than men in similar positions, with nearly 14% drinking too much. And women who felt their work was underpaid and unappreciated - from nurses to housewives - drank the most'

Horrifyingly - it is estimated that up to 22,000 deaths a year are associated with drinking too much alcohol - twice the rate of 2 decades ago. It can also be responsible for:

• brain damage
• heart problems
• strokes
• bad skin
• cancer
• infertility
• not sleeping well
• leading to feeling guilty and shameful about drinking too much

People also think that you have to drink 'bucket loads' before being classed an an alcoholic - not so I'm afraid - because if you habitually have a bottle of wine a night you will already be in this bracket. Because of the way our bodies work - women are even more vulnerable to physical damage from alcohol.

Medical definition of addiction:

• physical cravings
• withdrawal symptoms
• build up of tolerance
• a compulsion to drink

Even if you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms such as sweating, shaking, upset stomach and anxiety you may need to drink more to get the same high. Even if you don't suffer from this as yet, it can creep up on you before you realize it.

Warning signs:

• You may plan your day or weekend around alcohol
• You may prioritise people and places that will reinforce the behaviour and cut out those who don't
• You may think about drinking all the time
• You may plan to cut down but can't, or find yourself drunk at a work function when vowing to stay sober

There is evidence that genetics play a part in whether we become alcoholics because a child with an alcoholic parent is four times more likely to develop a drink problem. Experts believe (what I have always thought myself) that drinking too much is a sign of deep inner unhappiness and not necessarily because people actually enjoy the taste of drink - they may drink to remove themselves from reality, what's in their head, low self esteem or depression and are unable to deal with their feelings - feeling fear, anxiety or pain.

If you think that you are drinking too much out of habit, boredom or stress, then try to make changes in your life. Plan more fun, alcohol free activities such as playing a sport, learn relaxation techniques (and I quote several in my book) or meeting friends for coffee.

They say 'once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic' and it is reckoned if you give it up then it is likely to be impossible to be able to drink socially again. It takes 2 years for your brain to lose the habit of craving drink or drugs as an automatic response to any problem or situation and you will have your work cut out trying to keep it up.

(typing all of this, and thinking about my own situation which inspired me to write my own true story - I am feeling rather pleased with myself that I resisted going down this road).

Because women are so used to 'multi-tasking' we can actually drink to excess without our lives falling apart! because we are so good at coping with things. 'Life Works Addiction Centre' says that 60-70% of their clients are women and well over half of these managed to hold everything together. They go for help because they know that they are addicted and can't see a way out. Apparently we can hold it together - look great on the outside but are falling apart on the inside.

You can get outside help if you cannot stop yourself - via your GP or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or you can even try a helpline as sometimes you may just need somebody to talk to. You do not have to go through it alone and it is suprising that many people go through life wanting to do something about it but not willing to take the first simple small step.

Now for the bit of fun I promised you! (to end on a lighter note)

Have you heard of 'twitter'? it is a social site, a bit like 'Facebook' or 'MySpace' but you only have up to 140 characters to inform people 'what you are doing'. You can follow people, and gain followers. You even get to follow No. 10 Downing Street (home of UK's Prime Minister), Barack Obama, Al Gore, New York Times, NPR Politics, etc., You can even sneakily include your URL.

I signed up for it on Thursday to divert myself from what ended up to be a bad day for me, and a setback. I will give you my personal 'tweeter' referral link below. When you have signed up I suggest downloading (free) a TweetDeck (just google). This means that you do not have to keep logging in and all your contacts are there, in one place. You even get a sweet little 'trill' when there is a new entry added.

First you need to sign up for a twittter account, so just click the link http://twitter.com/ as you need your log in details to sign up to 'tweeter' below. You can also see what I am up to.

Check it out! one way to banish depression without the need for alcohol!

http://tweetergetter.com/bonnietoner

Don't forget to sign up for automatic alerts - you do not want to miss my book launch date

Are you planning to, or have you written, your own book? If so, I can highly recommend my own publishers. click the link below for details:

Bonnie

The Truth About Depression and How To Beat It - launching soon.